February 18, 2021February 18, 2021Leave a comment

After New Year’s I mentally knew what I needed to get done. But somehow I fell into a deep writer’s block. I was unmotivated and very, very, very, uninspired. I swear when we get into December its super filled with lots of activities with none stop to do lists. January was a very busy month for me, with Rob’s birthday and our anniversary. Plus Averie was back in school and projects galore. Anything I thought for the blog was being pushed to the side. Work was hectic and life just kept going. I didn’t know when it was just going to stop.

A little voice in the back of my mind wanted to get back.

“You need to Create.”

I knew that my passion was asking to get out but the funk was getting in the way. It needed to breathe, needed to get back to how I normally am. I hope I am making sense.

I really think I should actually consider that my year starts in February. LOL. It’s less busy- well sort of.

In reality, the funk (writer’s block) just recently came off when we decided to go to the beach, this past weekend. It’s where I recharged. The weather getting to the beach was gloomy just like how I felt inside. Though, I didn’t care at that moment. We all knew we had to go. Once we got there, it was perfect. The sun came out beaming, the temperature was just right; the water was a bit cold for us Miamians. But I wouldn’t change a thing.

My mind got exactly what it was yearning for, the beach. Mental clarity is very real and sometimes we ALL need to hit a reset button. The overwhelm feeling, the worries, and the indecisions in my head all went away when I was looking at the ocean and listening to the waves. As I carried Arya in my arm who was already tired from the long day, I stared at the ocean. The overall peace that draped over my body was an outer experience that I never felt before. The clutter left my mind into the ocean and there I knew I was ok.

If you ever feel this way please know you are not alone, whatever place makes you feel grounded (back at peace) go to it. Whether it is at the park, gym, or even if you stand in the rain. Release all the clutter that your mind has and recharge. It will all be ok.

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Now I am back to my normal schedule. With a clear mind set and full of inspiration.

Loungewear

January 12, 2021January 13, 2021Leave a comment

I have found my new obsession of loving loungewear more than ever before.

I guess I owe a huge thanks to 2020 as I now work from home.
Before the pandemic, I was never fond of loungewear. I just grabbed any shorts and t-shirt Rob had and called it a day. But boy, was I wrong.

During this pandemic, we may feel lost because we aren’t constantly going out. But it doesn’t mean that you should not get dressed up and make yourself feel good. Once in a while.

Trust me, loungewear takes up a notch. I now get to spend my days in a set of these pretty wear all while be extra comfortable. Don’t need to throw my style away at all.

The ones I currently am obsessed are these from Walmart – Secret Treasures.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Secret-Treasures-Essentials-Women-s-Plaid-Hacci-Joggers/343570820

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Secret-Treasures-Essentials-Women-s-Friyay-Hacci-Top/945830080

The joggers fit perfectly well and the feel is super soft but what I love the most is the comfort. Its super cute and chic paired with their hacci top. The words on the shirt are different from the one I have but I would recommend this brand if you are looking for a budget friendly buy.

Goodwill – Memories

February 24, 2020February 24, 2020Leave a comment

I would admit now, that I hold on to items in my home. No, I’m not a hoarder. But you know sentimental things like, onesies the girls wore that carry a personal story behind it. Or specific toys that they would play with. I take things like this very personally. Two weeks ago, I did my first donation at Goodwill.

Backstory: I cleaned out my closet and I had a bag of my clothes and some baby clothes too. But I also had the car sear that both Arya and Averie used when they were babies. I remember vividly, both car rides home from the hospital when each of the girls were born.

Fast forward now, these items had been in my car for a while, never having the guts to donate it. Until I was watch YouTube Blogger, Brianna K (if you don’t follow this mommy, you should.) and on this specific video she was donating two car rides full of items and said how good it felt to donate. Well that same day I said, “It is time.”

As I left work during my lunch break to Goodwill it began to rain badly. I hesitated and told myself, “Maybe, this is a sign not to go?” but then I changed my mind and went.

I pulled up on the side, the doors opened and I was greeted by an associate whom I gave the bag of clothes to. Then I uttered, “Do you accept car seats?” I assumed they didn’t due to liability reasons. And he said, “yes.” As I was handing it over, he stated “Oh no, I think our system is down.” I immediately thought it was another sign in my mind I said, “God is that you? But why would I need the car seat if the girls out grew it, right?”

I told him, “Sir, I honestly do not know how this works. It is my first time.” He handed me a paper document to fill out, which to my surprise it was a receipt that I can now claim as a charitable deduction on my federal tax return. When we were done, I walked towards the car and I sat.

An overwhelming feeling came over me as I starred at the rainy window and began to cry. You may tell me, “Ady, but why are you crying?” I know, yes it’s just material things that I am crying about but now I’ve learned something that I never knew before.

I hold onto memories. Good memories. Now giving these items away feels like the girls are growing up. Even little Arya would crawl into the car seat now and watch TV.

As sad as it sounds to me to be giving something sentimental away, it brought me peace to know that possibly another family would need it more than me. With that said, I turned on the car, wipes my tears and the car windshield. I said a “Thank you” like Marie Kondo and drove away.

I now know something I never knew before, that I collect memories but it’s ok to donate those material items on your own time.

-The Mominista

Do you know what is: Hand, Foot and Mouth?

February 18, 2020February 19, 2020Leave a comment

On Monday, I was informed by daycare that Arya was irritable. I assumed it was just because “it’ was Monday.” Later at night I went to take off her shoes and I noticed her sole of her feet had a rash. I immediately thought, it had to be the bleach from the shoes that I just washed over the weekend. It must’ve had residue and my poor girl got irritated.

Backstory: Arya has very sensitive skin. If she gets hot, she will break into hives. I assumed it was just that.

In the early morning, as we were sleep, I felt Arya’s body on fire. Yes, I still co-sleep. Like, her whole body was hot. Afraid that she would get a heat rash, I uncovered her and fell back to sleep. When we woke up, I made sure she didn’t have a body rash. She didn’t so off to daycare we went. At night, Arya was complaining about her mouth. I brushed it off assuming she may have bit herself as she was at that moment eating a snack.

But what caught my attention was when she was washing her hands. At the sink, I noticed her elbows. It had blisters, which I never seen her have. I checked the other elbow and she also had it. Immediately, I thought “OMG, NO! She can’t have what I think.” When I opened her mouth, it bothered her and I discovered that she had blisters inside. I then knew right there, she may have hand, foot and mouth. What to do now?

I called Rob over to the bathroom, so he can see for himself. He decided to do a virtual visit via United Healthcare. The wait was less than 10 minutes. They asked for Arya’s temperature, which was normal and a couple of pictures of the rash. I would say the visit was like Skype/Facetime. She asked for more pictures. Then the video call crashed, it went down as soon as we were getting the results. Just my luck, huh?

She called me instead right away to tell me the results. She confirmed what I already knew, you know mother’s instinct. Arya had hand, foot and mouth. I asked her, “Ok, what medication does she need? What can we do?” You wouldn’t believe the response.

She uttered the word, “Nothing.” I couldn’t believe it. “There’s no medication, shot or cure.” As parents we strive to help our child when their sick. We feel their pain and we always want it to go away. How can something like this not have a cure? I was left wondering what if?

As my mind went to other scenarios, “What if its Allergies and the virtual visit was wrong?” “What if it’s something worse?” I had enough; the answer didn’t sit well with me, so I had to get a second opinion. I made an appointment to Pediatric Associates. I wasn’t able to find an appointment with her primary physician but during this time Averie was also sick and I found one doctor that had back to back appointment time. Yes!

We were attended quickly; Averie had a cough/common cold. But when the doctor saw Arya, who I must say resembles Dr. Pimple Popper. She confirmed from just looking at her, that she had hand, foot and mouth disease. In her words, “without a doubt she has it, nothing to cure it. Just comfort Arya with lots of nice cold ice cream, soft foods and Tylenol. But I must warn you, some parents don’t know this. When the rash subsides, her fingernails may fall off. All the way.”

My mouth dropped!

I just couldn’t believe it. The doctor recommended that Arya not attend daycare for a week or until the rash goes away and for Averie to be away from Arya as it can be contagious. I also asked, if adults could get it and I was informed it wasn’t as severe as the children but that every body reacts different. You know I went full blown cleaning mode as I got home and began to wash and disinfect everything.

As a mom, I needed to know where she got hand, foot and mouth. What I am most happy about is that Arya wasn’t as severe as the images I viewed on Google. Thank God. But for my sanity, I still ended up asking the daycare if there were other children with it and to my surprise there were. I was informed that deep cleaning was to be conducted over the long weekend.

I share this story to bring awareness to this disease. I would like others to know what is, educate and if possible how to cure it, in case it may happen to your own children. In this scenario, as crazy it sounds there is no cure. But do read about it because you never know when it can happen to you.

-The Mominista

10 Questions to Answer by the Age of 30

January 29, 2019Leave a comment

Hello, mommas, future mommas, soon to be mommas and if you are new to this page welcome.

Let me reintroduce myself, my name is Adysbel. How do you pronounce it? Ah-dis-bell. You can call me Ady for short. In this post, I thought it would be best to let you get to know me a little better. I’ve done a lot of reflecting lately, and it may be due to all the constant feed on my Facebook of my former classmates turning 30 this year.

I think that by the age of 30, you should be able to answer some important life questions.

Here are my 10 questions

1- What is one advice I would’ve given myself at age 23?

Take your time. Invest. Don’t spend money, save instead. Move out to your own apartment. Travel the world.

2- In what ways can I be kinder to myself?

Stop trying to be the perfect cleaning mom. I have a problem, I always am cleaning. And I become overwhelmed with a dirty room. I need to relax about having an apartment with kids clean 100% of the time. I can improve by cleaning one room at a time and be satisfied. At least something was done, right?

3- What is my definition of success?

Write down your goals. Don’t give up. Put in the work. Stay motivated. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you, crossing one completed goal off at a time is success.

4- What is one thing you are tired of hearing?

I irk, when someone says they are “tired” especially, if they don’t have kids. I used to say this all the time when I was young and until now I understand the TRUE meaning. Saying this to a mother is just plain WRONG. You do not know what tired is until you have kids. Most moms are already sleep deprived at 8 months pregnant. You may ask why, that is because you can barely breathe, let alone sleep in a comfortable position. You better ONLY be “tired” if you are in school, caring for someone or working on achieving your goals. Not just because you are “tired”.

5- Where do I see myself in 5 years?

I see myself running my own business, working on what I love and having my own schedule to focus more on family.

6- Do I care what other people think about me?

Let’s be honest, I may never stop caring but I think by my 30’s I will let it stop affecting me.

7- Should I feel guilty about cutting someone off?

I have learned from my 20’s that not all friendships are worth my time and energy. And that’s OK. Family is what’s most important. They will always be there with open arms, to help and guide.

8- Who inspires me?

After watching his Nextflix Documentary, I am Not Your Guru. I started listening to Tony Robbins. Whenever I am in doubt, feeling down, need motivation; I go for walks at the park with the girls and I put it him on, his words clear my mind.

9- What do I feel most proud of?

My girls. I think, they have taught me the meaning of life. I view what they learn through a new perspective.

10- What is my current song anthem?

High Hopes by Panic at the Disco. The lyrics speak volumes to me.

Don’t worry about what other kids say.

January 21, 2019January 21, 2019Leave a comment

Hey Mommas, future Mommas, and soon to be Mommas.

Last week, Rob was picking up Averie from daycare. While I was at work, he called me to let me know something happened. So I panicked a little but kept it cool and asked calmly, “What happened”? He begins to tell me that, when picking up Averie from school he noticed that she looked upset in the playground area. She walked across from him at the water fountain station and began to cry. He asked her what happened?

Backstory

Early that day we got a notification on Class Dojo (If you don’t know, its an app where parents and teachers can communicate) that Averie was the only child to pass the state exam for VPK with a perfect score.

So Rob asked her one more time, “What is wrong Averie?” She now begins to cry and then ugly cry. (You know when the boogers just come out- that’s when you know whatever was bothering really affected her) She begins to tell him while taking deep breaths, “The twins… called me… a DUMB IDIOT!” Begins to cry softly.

As they get into the car, they called me. I could hear Averie weeping quietly and I asked her version of the story. It’s exactly the same. But I wanted to reassure her that I heard it from her mouth not Daddy’s. Deep down inside I was crushed while listening to her tell me the story. How did this just happened? She must’ve asked the twins how they did in their exam. Because that’s who Averie is, she likes to help and loves to learn from others and they crushed it for her. This idea was just running in my head. How do I explain to my child that what others say should not be taken to the heart.

So I calmly tell her, “Averie, sometimes kids will be mean because they do not know how to express themselves. They can be frustrated and the words they choose come out rude. They may not be thinking at that moment. And yes, words can hurt. But remember that in the end of the day, the only people that matter are…. FAMILY. We don’t see you as a dumb idiot. Your are wonderful, beautiful and smart. You are beyond your years. Don’t let her bring you down. Hold your head up! I will see you soon after I get out from work.”

As I told her those words, I tried to hold my own tears and be strong for her. Because this was my first time that I wasn’t there to help her.

When I got home, the first thing I did was to go lay in bed with her. I asked her how she was feeling and she told me better. But in the back of my mind, I knew I had to write her a little note for school as I do everyday. But this time I wanted to tell her how special she truly is to me.

At 6 AM I wrote: Don’t worry about what other kids say. You are smart, beautiful, nice and FABU-LOUS! (Inside joke: she likes to mimic Lamb Lamb from Doc Mcstuffins) Hold your head high. YOU ARE A QUEEN! And ONLY YOU wears the crown! – Love Mom *Excuse my butchering of words, 6 AM and still half asleep*

You are also wondering, does she even read this note? And the answer to that is YES. The teacher sees her reading each note everyday. She has mentioned that is the first time she sees a little girl at her age reading and hugging the note from us. I think it’s a great inspirational note half way through her day.

So with that said, nobody tells you that parenting is easy. It’s a hard job and I wish I could protect her always. But I know she will learn and grow from this experience. With tougher skin.

-The Mominista

Taking it Back – Ballet, maybe later.

December 4, 2018December 4, 2018Leave a comment

I always knew that if I had a little girl I would put her in ballet class at age 3. That day came with Averie and she was excited as much as I. Maybe I was WAY more excited. I went to Walmart one day I got her the entire outfit, even though the ladies at the ballet academy told me it was not required. I on the other hand wanted Averie to have the entire experience of a ballerina.

Here is Averie trying on the attire:

Now she is showing it to her sister, Arya:

The next day it was her great debut. I was nervous, anxious, and super excited for her.

I went to wake her up and tell her that it was “Ballet day.”

She was so excited and ready for it. Her grandmother and aunt also came along to root her on.

A little side note, at this age Averie hadn’t gone to daycare full time. She was only surround by family. So this experience being around other little girls is new.

She already left my hand and met a friend. You know how mommy felt, right? All in my feelings.

What I loved about this academy was that they had a television where parents would be able to watch the little ones in class.

Averie loved it but was not used to following directions at this age. She didn’t understand “taking turns” she did at one point negotiate with another little girl during the across the floors to let her go again. Which we all laughed about because why be so serious at this age right? It’s all in good fun.

The class ended an hour later, I thought it went great. I was ready to sign her up. Until Averie came out.

Averie cried so hard. Saying that it was over, that she didn’t do well and that she hated it. “Well… that’s that then.” I said to myself.

As we left, I reassured her that she did not do bad. That we were there to learn and to have fun. That this moment should not indicate that ballet is not for her. Averie then told me, “Ballet, maybe later” would be best for now.

You best believe we got her Just Dance the next day for her to dance with me at home. I was not going to let this moment discourage her from it.

Has your little one ever felt the way Averie has? Please share in the comments below. I would love to hear from you.

-The Mominista

Taking it Back – The Girls

November 27, 2018November 27, 2018Leave a comment

As a mother, have you ever just watched your kids and just studied their facial features? Yes, it may sound creepy. But I tend to look at how they have aged, in amazement. On this particular day it was just about that. I was in love watching the girls play with blocks. Then, I took the camera and took advantage in capturing their face expressions. They have plenty, just look for yourself.

-The Mominista

Taking it Back – NYE 2018

November 26, 2018November 26, 2018Leave a comment

As my previous post mentioned, it is time to pause and reflect. I have been looking at my phone and have seen the number of pictures I hadn’t post. As a mom of 2, I am either helping my oldest in her homework, while running after a toddler in the other hand. In reality, social media tends to be left in the “To do list.” In the upcoming days I will have a series called, Taking it Back. Where I will revisit all the events that occurred in 2018.

This post is about New Year’s Eve 2018. On December, 30 of every year, it has become a tradition to go and buy fireworks. We usually go to the mecca store, TNT Fireworks in Daytona Beach. But this year, we decided to stay local. Averie picks her fireworks that she likes and we help guide her to the ones that is age appropriate for her to play with. Which is usually the pop-it’s, you know the ones that you throw on the floor and it pops. With our guidance, she plays with the sparklers that change colors.

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Both the girls were mesmerized by the fireworks. This year was Arya’s first time being close to the noise. I was a bit nervous but she wasn’t afraid.

After looking at these photographs I can see how in the matter of a year the girls have grown so much. It is truly remarkable. Like the old saying goes, “Time does fly.” because we are less than a month away to ring in the new year.

-The Mominista

How did I know I was ready for baby # 2?

April 24, 2018Leave a comment

I get this question asked a lot by friends. And the answer is, “I wasn’t ready.”

I was actually surprised. I always knew that I wanted 2 kids but it felt that it happen fast. Even though they are 3 years apart.

I believe that no one is really ready for baby number 2. Unless, you plan for it. I in the other hand, was a bit scared of us becoming a family of four but I believed that faith had blessed us with a wonderful miracle.

If you are a momma and your family is growing, its ok to be nervous or a bit scared. The fear of the unknown, is just temporary. It may be wonderful and sometimes chaotic but there’s always a better understanding at the end if the journey.

When we were a family of 3, our only attention was to Averie. As she began to socialize with other little girls her age, I became aware that she was lonely. She needed someone to have magic unicorn tea parties, extravagant dress up galas, and a friend to share all these wonderful memories with. Not only mamma, which I don’t mind at all. But seeing her one day play with a little girl in the middle of the mall changed our minds. They were playing hide and seek and singing “Let it Go”. When the little girl left, Averie became sad and so were we. We then knew right at that moment she was destined to have a sister.

Growing up for me I didn’t share those moments with a sibling. Even though I have two older sisters, our age gap is so wide that I felt like a only child growing up. My imagination did run freely but overall I know how lonely it can get. So when I became a mother, I knew I didn’t want that for my child.

Seeing my fiance’s relationship with his brother and sister made me realize what I wanted for Averie. The bond that they have is cherishable and embracing. They text and call each other everday. Sundays are meant to have dinner with the family. Where they all prepare a bbq and catch up about the week and reminisce of the old days when they were small.

Our wish for our girls is that they remain close and share a great bond. That they value the importance of having each other and that nothing can separate them because they are our ARC of this family.

If I could tell my scared pregnant self then that the journey is incredibly great, I would. Because now we all share wonderful memories and milestones. We are so blessed to have Averie and Arya in our lives. Party of 4 please.

– The Mominista

the mominista

A full time mom with a love for fashion mixed with style and two daughters.

Category: Motherhood

Loungewear

Goodwill – Memories

Do you know what is: Hand, Foot and Mouth?

10 Questions to Answer by the Age of 30

Don’t worry about what other kids say.

Taking it Back – Ballet, maybe later.

Taking it Back – The Girls

Taking it Back – NYE 2018

How did I know I was ready for baby # 2?